Sketches by Boz
by Charles Dickens
'Here's your health, sir, and your good 'ooman's here. Gentlemen all--yours, and better luck still. Well, Mr. Willis,' continued the facetious prisoner, addressing the young man with the cigar, 'you seem rather down to- day--floored, as one may say. What's the matter, sir? Never say die, you know.'
'Oh! I'm all right,' replied the smoker. 'I shall be bailed out to-morrow.'
'Shall you, though?' inquired the other. 'Damme, I wish I could say the same. I am as regularly over head and ears as the Royal George, and stand about as much chance of being BAILED OUT. Ha! ha! ha!'
'Why,' said the young man, stopping short, and speaking in a very loud key, 'look at me. What d'ye think I've stopped here two days for?'
''Cause you couldn't get out, I suppose,' interrupted Mr. Walker, winking to the company. 'Not that you're exactly obliged to stop here, only you can't help it. No compulsion, you know, only you must--eh?'
'A'n't he a rum un?' inquired the delighted individual, who had offered the gin-and-water, of his wife.
'Oh, he just is!' replied the lady, who was quite overcome by these flashes of imagination.
'Why, my case,' frowned the victim, throwing the end of his cigar into the fire, and illustrating his argument by knocking the bottom of the pot on the table, at intervals,--'my case is a very singular one. My father's a man of large property, and I am his son.'
'That's a very strange circumstance!' interrupted the jocose Mr. Walker, en passant.
'--I am his son, and have received a liberal education. I don't owe no man nothing--not the value of a farthing, but I was induced, you see, to put my name to some bills for a friend--bills to a large amount, I may say a very large amount, for which I didn't receive no consideration. What's the consequence?'
'Why, I suppose the bills went out, and you came in. The acceptances weren't taken up, and you were, eh?' inquired Walker.
'To be sure,' replied the liberally educated young gentleman. 'To be sure; and so here I am, locked up for a matter of twelve hundred pound.'
'Why don't you ask your old governor to stump up?' inquired Walker, with a somewhat sceptical air.
'Oh! bless you, he'd never do it,' replied the other, in a tone of expostulation--'Never!'
'Well, it is very odd to--be--sure,' interposed the owner of the flat bottle, mixing another glass, 'but I've been in difficulties, as one may say, now for thirty year. I went to pieces when I was in a milk-walk, thirty year ago; arterwards, when I was a fruiterer, and kept a spring wan; and arter that again in the coal and 'tatur line--but all that time I never see a youngish chap come into a place of this kind, who wasn't going out again directly, and who hadn't been arrested on bills which he'd given a friend and for which he'd received nothing whatsomever--not a fraction.'
'Oh! it's always the cry,' said Walker. 'I can't see the use on it; that's what makes me so wild. Why, I should have a much better opinion of an individual, if he'd say at once in an honourable and gentlemanly manner as he'd done everybody he possibly could.'
'Ay, to be sure,' interposed the horse-dealer, with whose notions of bargain and sale the axiom perfectly coincided, 'so should I.